Sweet and Sassy Mama Kel

Mama Kel ... What do u call a person you throw monie at

2011-04-01T22:44:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, What is the Definition of Servant?

2011-02-03T11:26:00.001-08:00

Mama Kel, What is the Definition of Servant?
A picture is worth a thousand words... right?! Right.

Mama Kel, When is the father/daughter dance?

2010-12-17T14:56:00.000-08:00

Mama Kel, when is the father/daughter dance?

Papa Mack asked Daughter Mel to Winter formal.
The question is... when did Winter Formal become a Father/Daughter dance?

Mama Kel, I am here to help.

2010-12-17T14:18:00.000-08:00

Mama Kel, I am here to help.

So, last night... ASB had an object lesson.
The lesson: Why we need to go to college.
If we don't go to college we end up bagging groceries.

... And, that is what we did.
Bag groceries.
For FOUR hours.

We bagged groceries and asked for receipts.
It may have been the longest night of our lives...

So, we will keep it short. And, narrow to the three funniest moments of the night.

Moment #3:

The purpose of Star Wars is so the boys can look at scantily clad women and watch things blow up.

*** the poor person, who ACTUALLY works at Fresh and Easy said this to us... during our shift.

Moment #2:

Is this fundraiser for your handicap school?

*** Mel asked a man for his receipt and he asked what it was supporting. When she didn't understand the question... he rephrased it. Is this fundraiser for your handicap school?

HUH?

Moment #1:

I love little kids. I mean infants. Once they start talking I draw the line.
AE.

That says at all.
Right?

Mama Kel, Merry Christmas.

2010-12-16T12:07:00.000-08:00

Mama Kel, Merry Christmas.

Papa Mack was given a bird.
Not just any bird.
The twitter bird.
Papa Mack doesn't like birds.
He actually has a fear of birds.
Ornithophobia.
Who knew?
Not us.

No matter what you get this Christmas, know.... at least you're not afraid of it.
Poor Lord Chesterfield... he will be all alone this Christmas.

Mama Kel, What does it Mean to only make $42.00 in three days?

2010-12-13T12:00:00.000-08:00

Mama Kel, What does it mean to only make $42.00 in three days?

We had a brilliant idea.
Or, so we thought.
It's hard for ASB to do fundraisers.
I mean... come on. We charge for everything, and then we are going to go door to door and sell wrapping paper?
Never.

So, we thought, we could jump into the flower business.
Right?
We have three school graduations on campus every-year as well as two high school play productions. So, why not. Honestly... it sounds like a great idea... right?

WRONG.

3 days.
3 days of crazy parents.
3 days of flower orders.
3 days of trips to the flower garage.
3 days of pretzel mania.
3 days ...
3 long days.

Lots of money?
Nope.
Some money?
Nope?
42 dollars?
Yes.

That works out to 59 cents and hour.
There was 5 people working the booth each day, so that equals 12 cents.

Honestly, stop and smell the roses... there is no money in the flower business.

Mam Kel, It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

2010-12-13T11:48:00.000-08:00

Mama Kel, It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

It's the Christmas season again... and the jolly festivities are in the air. With much anticipation. ASB has been waiting for their Secret Santa gifts as well as decking the halls.

It was Klanc's b-day yesterday, complete with a surprise party and the opportunity to cover hundreds of lockers in wrapping paper, hang snowflakes from the ceiling and make a manger from scratch. (Did I mention that Uncle Cam popped out of a giant box.... only your imagination can take you there. )

It's all done.

Take a look at that home-made manger scene. I mean, come on, have you ever seen something so cute?

Christmas songs rang throughout the hallways, we sang and the school hallways have been decked.

Get it?
Deck the Halls.
Hahaha...
Schools have halls.
We decked them.

Honestly, folk, keep up. It's not that hard!

Mama Kel, Look at Chris?!

2010-11-09T15:18:00.001-08:00

Mama Kel, Look at Chris.

A picture is worth a 1000 words.
Right?!

Mama Kel, Can I get you anything?

2010-11-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

Mama Kel, Can I get you anything?

A message from Uncle Cami about Friday's Fundraiser at Chick-Fil-A

That was a lot of fun hanging out for 4 exciting hours!!

Best quote of the day "Oh my phone is way over there"- Mama Kel,
"I will get it!"- Chris
or

"Hey Cam are you getting root beer!?"-Mama Kel
"I am now"-Me!!!

Kelly you have a spell over us!! haha

Mama Kel, It's Fundraiser Day

2010-11-04T15:03:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, It's Fundraiser Day

So, the homecoming season is over.
And, today is the beginning of fundraisers.... And we are off.
Actually, up. Up, up and away.
Flamingo lady is on her way.

Mama Kel, How tired are you?

2010-11-01T15:52:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, How tired are you?
So, tired, that to start off the blogging of homecoming, I am going to show some of the highlights in pictures ONLY. More to come...And to kick it off, a video. The stories, the laughs, the heartbreak, it is all on its way.

Mama Kel, It's Homecoming Week

2010-10-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, It's Homecoming Week.

It's crazy.
It's out of control.
It's out of this world... literally.

So, the chaos has begun.
It actually started last week. And, the boys dressed up like the men in black to announce the court. It was an Oscar winning production. Honestly.

I'll keep you posted.
This week is going to be stressful and FUNNY.

Mama Kel, What kind of food does my personality resemble?

2010-10-08T09:59:00.001-07:00

Mama Kel, What kind of food does my personality resemble?

It happened in the blink of an eye.
Four of us went to a Tustin's banquet center in order to meet up with an old colleague of mine.
Honestly?
We worked. And, laughed. The entire time.

The banquet center was amazing.
Seriously.
It looks like something right out of 1924.
Not to mention that each room was decorated in a different holiday and had corresponding food.
The boys, ate their way through the place.
I guess, so did I.

And, then it came to the poi. Seriously? Gross.
Scoots and Uncle Cami talked about how much of a yawn the poi was, and why did it have a purple tint? Seriously... who knows what the Hawaiians were thinking when they created the stuff.
And then...
Erica held p the poi and said, "If I had to choose a food to match my personality... this would be it."

And, it was over.

Seriously, we went from trying to plan JS to making fun of everyone and everything we saw.
The boys made coffee foam mustaches, touched the ice sculpture and discovered gelato.

The biggest surprise of the evening?
The poi was not poi, but purple mashed potatoes.
Honestly?
Dumbest idea ever.

Mama Kel, Back in Black?!

2010-10-05T08:12:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, Back in Black?

K.
So, the world is in a economic crisis, and so is ASB.
At the end of the last school year... all our books were RED.
Red.
Red.
Red.
They were bleeding.
And, now we have a new theme song, "Back in Black".

It will happen. I know it will.
And, to make it happen, ASB has been coming up with some major fundraising schemes .... um, I mean antics.

We have sold cans of soda for a dollar to unsuspecting Jr. Highers. Saying that it is a good deal, since the soda is cold.

We have auctioned off lockers to the highest bidder.

And, our new idea?
Selling large stemmed flowers to elementary school cheerleaders. $5.00 and a girl in twinkle toe shoes has the time of her life.

The schemes... ummm... ideas, keep coming.

Up next?
A thrift swap.
Ready to sell your old junk?
Great.
We are ready to buy it.

Mama Kel, It's the first day of school! No. Wait. That was over a week ago... Where have you been?

2010-09-22T07:59:00.001-07:00

Mama Kel, It's the first day of school! No. Wait. That was over a week ago, where have you been?

So, it's been awhile.
Why?
Of course. School gets out for summer.
Is it a summer free of ASB? No. Is it a summer free of blogging? I guess so. But, now, we are back. Back to School and up to our same old antics. And, I might dare to say... even better stories.

We did it all this summer. We said goodbye to Mistress H and Auntie J... only to say hello again to them a few months later. Who knew that plans could change so fast?

We made it through our all-nighter.
We worked out by cleaning out our storage unit. (Can I say, Yeah!)
And, we made it through a family dinner of tacos and the first football game (which we won!)

But, now... the books, the homework, the early mornings... They are all back.
And, we are ready to stare them in the face.

Well... kinda.

Rather than tell you every morbid detail of our first ten days back... I'll give you my top ten.

10. Uncle Cami coming to school today, with his shorts in perfect pleats. Dear Santa, Uncle Cami needs a bottle of Downey De-Wrinkler for Christmas, or at least the smarts to take the shorts out of the bag the night before.

9. Daughter Mel learned what it means to have "Mexican Curls". She has known about them her whole life... but, now she knows what to call them.

8. Flamingo Neighbor K and Daughter Mel ... went to balloon class. Now, don't let it fool you. It was nothing like clown school. But, it was scary. Who know that there were 2,345 ways to tie a balloon. And, who knew that balloon instructors could be SO MEAN? Don't balloons make people happy? Well, I hate to break it to you. The answer is...no. You have been disillusioned your entire life.

7. We adopted a lot of new family members... so, we won't overwhelm you. You'll get to know them in a meet and greet session. It will be fun. I promise.

6. SENIORS. Need I say more.

5. Uncle Cami had to spell check every teachers name in the entire school. Sad? Sure. Did it help him with spelling? Nope. Did it help him at all? Doubtful.

4. Uncle Cami get a mysterious voicemail about Auntie J. Is it true?

3. Daughter Mel and Sister Steph through a pool party... the girls louged and Uncle Cami and Uncle Cami played with Max (confused?... So, were we.)

2. Assassins. A game of hiding and quick wit. We played for hours at the all-nighter. What do you think the best strategy was to stay hidden for hours? or to run around the school like a nut?

1. No matter what... we are all together in this. Whether it been balloon making class, or a DOUBLE PLAY power play, a pep rally with a great new game or in our new sweatshirts that everyone loves.... it's another year. So, why wouldn't we be #1.

Mama Kel, I graduated!

2010-06-29T10:04:00.000-07:00

It's a little late in coming... but, I wanted to tell me Seniors how proud of them I am:

Mistress H: you rocked the job of President. A lot of people didn't think you could do it. But, you proved them wrong. You took to the task and really gave it wings. CCHS is a better place because you were involved and left your mark. You will me missed, but your fingerprints are everywhere--- showing those you lead, the way to go.

Auntie J: I cannot believe you already left Southern California. You added spice to the day to day drudge of ASB. Your smile and side witted comments made each day worth working for. You will always be loved, not to mention that Uncle Cami will not be the same without you. Keep us posted on your travels.

Bren: Your honesty rocked the Board on a day to day basis. I love how you tell it like it is... and still love us all in spite of our faults. Keep that, with you. It is what I will remember you for. ... Your signs were amazing, and your publicity great--- but, it was your personality that really made the board a family.

M: It was your shining personality and upbeat attitude that got us through every event. You always thought the best of everyone and everything and that is what made us love you.

Ben: Two years ago when you walked into my life... I thought, "Who is this kid?" And, I have never looked back. You have rocked the roles of Jr and Senior class president and have brought unity to your class. As you spoke at graduation, I began to realize how far you have come in the past few years and am so proud of you.

Bill: thanks for jumping in at the last minute and saving us of our video woes. You really saved the day more than once. We couldn't have done this without you.

R: Our finances would have been in the red if you wouldn't have been with us. We totally had our ups and downs this year, but you came out on top. There is nothing in this world that you cannot do... keep going. And, you will make it. Just remember--- don't step on too many toes on the way.

Shel: No matter where you go in life you will flourish. There is nothing in this world that you cannot do. Do not give up, but keep pushing. Everyone on this board owes you something. You have been the constant for a lot of people and really kept our world turning. Love you tons.

Mama Kel, Update #1-27

2010-06-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, are you sleeping? We're not. We are at the gym.

So, Friday was eventful.

To say the least.

After an hour in the principals' office.... we finally had a footing on the Sophomore event. With chaos happening all around us. My ASBers jumped into action-- complete with a running monologue.

Mama Kel, your American Express won't work.

Mama Kel, I drained my bank account to get into Knotts.

Mama Kel, I am spent all of my birthday money.

Mama Kel, I am mad.

Mama Kel, I cannot get anyone to answer their phone.

Mama Kel, what are we going to do for dinner, we have no money.

Mama Kel, where are you?

Mama Kel, thanks for dinner.

Mama Kel, Uncle Cami died.

Mama Kel, where are you?

Mama Kel, did you know this thing goes until 2 AM.

Mama Kel, she was about to cry.

Mama Kel, we are at the grand canyon.

For all the Mama Kel updates, I have ever gotten, these were by far the best. Seriously, in a day of chaos. Uncle Cami, Aunt J and Mistress H, rose tot he occasion. They used their birthday money and got into an amusement park. They stayed up until 2+ in the morning. And, they laughed their way through it.

And, as for the grand canyon. I hope it was beautiful.

And, Uncle Cami keeps saying, "Mama Kel, I have to stop volunteering for things!"

And, this is Mama's advice, "Never. Nope. Please......"

Mama Kel, AHHHHHHHHH

2010-06-11T15:17:00.000-07:00

Quote of the day.

"Mama Kel, I drained my bank account, had to spend all my birthday money, and now I'm just MAD."

Enough said.

Mama Kel, It's Called a Legacy.

2010-06-03T11:27:00.000-07:00

I don't think many people thought they could do it.

I know that I was even one of their biggest doubters, at times.

But, after months of planning, my family pulled off the greatest event of all time.

It was their BHAG.

a... BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOAL.

Let's take us back to October.

We were all sitting in the chapel at Forest Home, wondering if we were ever going to agree on a goal. Mistress Hannah had thrown out some ideas... and none of them seemed big or hairy.

And, so they thought. They finally decided that there biggest concern for our school was bonding. Bonding with each other and with the community.... and above all else putting God First. And, so Chi Alpha (XA) God First in Greek was born.

They contact hundreds of organizations who laughed when we said that we were going to serve the community with 600+ people. I am sure it was the Devil laughing at us, as well.

Defeat came so many times. But, with pep talks they pulled it all together.

The week of XA was finally here... and the family was tired and exhausted.

We had put together 50+ different schedules, made 27 art bags for the elementary school, had an organization back out on us the day before, found a new organization in hours, cut out 27 shadow people, bought 4000+ cases of water, frozen 100 lbs of turkey and checked off thousands of other tasks on our to-do list.

In colored shirts we ran the XA race.

Calvary Chapel High School was placed into three teams. With three goals. Catalyst, Koinonia, and Revolution. With one intent... to put GOD FIRST.

From Uncle Cami and Aunt J spent the day at Miles Square Park... wheeling around dirt for hours with different teams in the hot sun to Papa M teaching 3 bible studies to all three teams to Mistress H and Daughter Mel picking up 700 sandwiches before 7:30 am.

The day was for God and we truly put him first.

To all of you how helped... the thousands of hours you put in and the insane prayer that went into the day. I love you and there are load and load of jewels in heaven waiting for you. And, it's your legacy. For years to come students will remember this day and whether they know you had anything to do with it or not. God does. And, may you be extremely blessed. I am so proud of you. There aren't enough words to describe the day or how I feel about all of you.

XOXO, Mama Kel

Mama Kel Speak: XOXO

2010-05-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

To my ASB family.

I love each of you dearly. You have each added your unique style and flair to the CCHS legacy. I am extremely proud of you.

You have risen above every expectation I have had, and proved that working together as a family is truly one of life's greatest gifts. You have made be proud to be your mama and even more proud to be in my family tree.

The pep rally today was just one of the three events you are leaving CCHS with. You will leave the 2010 school year with a triple-threat (and a piece of my heart).

So, sappy... but, that is what proud mama's do.... gush over their beloved. XOXO.

You mean the world to me.

Mama Kel, I need a costume... Did I mention, the play is tomorrow?

2010-05-13T13:42:00.001-07:00

Mama Kel, I need a costume... Did I mention, the play is tomorrow?

Yesterday.

I walk over to the main sanctuary after a long afternoon of teaching and meetings to find my children in tears. Auntie J ran into another students' car in the parking lot... and was terrified. We all know how that feels. Mistress H had just been told that her costume wasn't approved for the play (too much Mrs. Hannigan and not enough orphan) and Papa M's vest was falling around his waist and he needed and ascot.

Drama? Drama for sure. I know my other children were there somewhere, but in the midst of the chaos... they blurred into the background.

Mama Kel immediately got to work fixing problems.

Auntie J got her hugs and kisses.

It will be okay.

She knows that.

The car she hit knows that.

And, in the end... it will all work out.... into a very good lesson learned.

Papa M... Who knew I had sewing talent? Well, that's to my grandma. I do. Fix a vest? Sure.

Make and ascot. Sure. Why not? English teacher by day, Mama Kel by the minute.

Now.... Mistress H.

Seriously... a new costume by tomorrow at 10 am? Never. But, we tried. And, tried. We drove from closed down store to closed down store. And, by closed... I mean... not a single piece of furniture in the place. Not one feathered boa's feather or one hat's hat pin or a shirt's lacy ruffle.

Honestly? Didn't these people know we had a play in less than 24 hours?

And, so... it was on to the Goodwill. Where... believe it or not, we found something. And, by thing, I mean-- THE THING. It was huge. So, huge that Mistress H and my original daughter fit into it. But, hey, a costume is costume. And, remember Mama Kel can sew.

And so, sew I did.

With the help of my daughter... we sewed and sewed and sewed.

A vest for Papa M.

An ascot for Papa M.

A new costume for Mistress H.

Well, my class read. They read. And, read. And, we sewed. And sewed.

But, we are going to fake it till we make it.

And, make it we shall.

Break a leg, chick-a-dees.

Mama Kel, Happy Mother's Day... to you.

2010-05-09T20:16:00.000-07:00

Mamma Kel, Happy Mother's Day to you.

It's a Sunday.

It's mothers day.

And, to my kids... those who I talked to today and those that I didn't... I love you so much. And, remember Mother's Day is not only a time to tell your Mama that you love her... but, it is also a time for her to tell you how much she loves you.

So... I love you... Officially.

On and off the record.

No matter what you do.

Mama Kel will always be there for you.

XOXO

Mama Kel, How did Uncle Cami ask Aunt J to Formal?

2010-05-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, How did Uncle Cami ask Aunt J to formal?

Uncle Cami could not have made me prouder or Aunt J more elated. Standing in this striped sweater and joe-cool glasses, Sweet-Sweet Neighbor Shel and I meet Uncle Cami on Auntie J's dark cul-de-sac last night. Complete with 400 tea-lights and his new Rav-4, Uncle Cami put us to work... laying out tea lights and lighting them against the night breeze.

Nervous that someone would pop out of the house at any moment... Uncle Cami jerked up at every sounds.... including Auntie J's dad working out in this garage.

After every candle was lit and every letter in place.... Sweet-Sweet Neighbor Shel and I hid behind a truck to watch the festivities. Aunt J came out of her house to find Uncle Cami with roses and a light up "Prom?"... "Will you go to prom with me?" he asked.....

Of course!

Laughter and shouting came up quickly as everyone else (including Mistress H) jumped out of their hiding places.

"HEY KIDS IM TRYING TO SLEEP UP HERE"

Wow. Some people have just forgotten what it is like to be young. But, no one let it ruin the moment. Let's just say... maybe the crazy neighbor needs someone to ask him to prom.

Mama Kel, What is going on?

2010-05-03T14:09:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, What is going on?

So, it's around the corner.... Junior/ Senior Formal that is.

And, this weekend, my house conducted a ASB Board Member sweat shop.We worked for hours making brand new baseballs look dirty, aging new baseball cards to make them look vintage and tearing up pieces of fabric into table runners. Today-- you can tell an ASB member by the vintage brown stains on their hands.

They worked hard.

And, played harder.

We are having a "Minute to Win It" pep rally and have been practicing all the games. Cheers keep coming up from the garage. "You did it!" "Wahoo!" "Rahhhhhhh!"

So, we will see. It is going to be a busy week.

We already have:

2 burns

6 dirty feet

13 fingers that are dyed brown

and 18 students running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Mama Kel, I heard Flamingo Neighbor K, didn't go to 7th Period today.

2010-04-30T14:37:00.000-07:00

Mama kel, I heard Flamingo Neighbor K, didn't go to 7th period today?

Q. Flamingo Neighbor K, why do you have anything what is lovely and cute and fluffy?

A. Sorry.

Q. Do you believe in love at first sight

A. Sure.

Q. If you were to take Advil how many would you take?

A. It depends. If I am in a mood... lots.

Q. Why do you look like a vet?

A. I do not look like a vet. I don't like animals. I don't want to kill little kids pets. I do like kids. But, I don't want to kill their pets.

Q. Do you want to get married?

A. Yes (hesitantly). I think I could live a happy life even if I didn't get married.

Q.Why do you make funny faces?

A. (makes a funny face). (and another). (and another).

Q. Do you believe in miracles?

A. Yes. ... bc the bible says so. This is sooooo frustrating. I don't know what to say. ("You are like that kid in the ASB interviews-- who cried", Mistress H)

Q. How many kids do you want?

A. You cannot have more than 2 because then each person will be left out at one time or the other

Q. Why has it taken you so long to join our snuggling family?

A. I am trying really hard. (C-bomb tries to hug her.... it doesn't go well.) This is why I hate hanging out with you guys!

Q. Do you like people?

A. Generally, no.

.... Family Advice to Flamingo Neighbor K....

Mistress H: I am going to give you a tube of mascara... and you can brush your eyelashes two times each day. (But, you are beautiful).

Uncle Camil: Stop being such a psycho. Stop it. No. Follow your dreams, but, if it is not being a vet. then come talk to me... because I feel like you are missing your calling.

Papa M: Don't diss my music.

Uncle C: As in the words of Bob Marley, don't worry about a thing....

Mama Kel: Hug a stranger.

C-Bomb: ("Did you just say something about getting a C. I am not getting a C."-- yelled Flamingo Neighbor K). Grades are not everything. One day, when you find out that grades aren't everything, the world will not come crashing down.

____

Mama K's Convo of the day

"B's are okay, look at Albert Einstein, he failed allot before he invented the light-bulb"- C-Bomb.

"Wait. Albert Einstein did not invent the light-bulb"- Mistress H

"I didn't go to a very good school before this one."-- C-Bomb.

Mama Kel, I hear you have a Daughter?

2010-04-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, I hear you have a Daughter?

Q. How are you related to Mama Kel?

A. I am her daughter. We went to camp, and everyone thought I was her daughter so... My first mother is really Mistress H ("Child Thief", cuts in Mistress H). But, then I just loved Mama Kel so much more... ("That's why I steal your father, he loves me more than you", says Mistress H).

Q. Do you love Auntie J and Uncle Cami?

A. I love them. Auntie J makes me cookies. ("I invited you to my emo party, and put wings on your eyes," said Mistress H).

Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?

A. A special Ed teacher and my back up career is a chef.

Q. Do you like being a freshman, baby Mel?

A. I like it. I am going to be part of the family forever... and ever.

Q. What is your favorite part of ASB and you cannot say me? --- Uncle Cami

A. Listening to Papa M's comments about his stomach and Devil K and this bonding with the fam.

Q. Why do you love your Papa M?

A. I LIKE Papa M.... hmmmm..... what's not to like. ("I could think of a few" chirps in Uncle Cami) His socially awkwardness is my favorite.

Q. Daughter Mel, what do you think of your family members? ("Who is your favorite... think of next year," Uncle Cami)

A. We are the biggest and loudest, most obnoxious big Italian/ Greek family who just snuggles and loves each other and we cut class and drink coffee and eat candy.

Mama Kel, Who is Uncle C?

2010-04-29T14:51:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, Who is Uncle C?

Q. Do you believe in miracles?

A. (Uncle C exits with a hop, skip and a jump. Gone for 30 seconds. Runs back in) Ask me any question... I know the answer.

Q. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why?

A. No. Women are odd.

(Aunt J interrupts: am I odd? Uncle Cami answers: of course. you're a ginger.)

Q. What is the power behind the bromance between you and Papa M?

A. Well, opposites attract. Nothing alike in humor. Me and Papa M, love to laugh because we both have pain strung throughout-- he has drama and I have issues.

Q. UMMMMMM

A. Yes, my favorite color is purple.

Q. What are your issues?

A. Heartbreak. And, Uncle C never wears shorts.

______

Mama Kel's Wisdom for the Day

"This is NORMAL high school life."

Mama Kel, Don't you think I'm "Pun"ny?

2010-04-28T10:26:00.000-07:00

Papa M is going through a crisis today.
But, in the midst of his crisis he has come up with some puns to lighten the mood.

We've discussed it.
I told him "You cannot use puns to woo women".
And, so, Papa M is out of ideas.
And, out of puns.

...

On another note.

the ASB elections are finally over and we are meeting the new family members today. I am not sure they know the crazy family they are entering, but they will soon know that they will be loved and loved to be made fun of. But, hey, that is part of every family-- Right?! We will introduce them to you soon.

Mama Kel, Who is Mistress H?

2010-04-23T21:10:00.001-07:00

Mama Kel, Can We Meet Mistress H?

Q. How did you become a mistress?
A. I seduced Papa M with my eyes... and my Teletubby hugs.

Q. Tell us a story about Uncle Cami and Aunt J?
A. Uncle Cami was my friend first...and he said he would harpoon me. And, then Auntie J was just jealous of our friendship
and snuck in. But, that's okay, because now I have Papa M.

Q. Tell us a secret.
A. I don't think I ever did any homework my first two years of high school. Now, look at me... I am the ASB President.

Q. Meeting Mama Kel
A. We met at interview night-- my freshman year. You asked me what my greatest weakness was and I said, "My twin sister
Julia."

(SIDE NOTE: I didn't realize that Mistress H was a twin for the first two months I knew her. And, I would wave at her in the halls and wonder why she didn't wave back.)

Q. Why do you bite?
A. It is the greatest defense mechanism known to women-kind.

So, that is Mistress H.
I am going to miss her so much.
I know she already has a twin, but she's my soul-mate. I love her. Even though she is a mistress to my papa.

Mama Kel, Can we meet President Elect, Uncle Cami and Auntie J?

2010-04-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, Can we meet President Elect, Uncle Cami and Antie J?

Uncle Cami and Auntie J.
Everyone should have a pair of them in their lives.
I was going to write about them... but, instead I thought and interview would be much more entertaining.

Q. How did you two meet?

Auntie J: Selling Root Beer Floats.
Uncle C: What?
Auntie J: You don't remember
Uncle C: I do... you were that other ginger.
Auntie J: I made you your name tag for elections... it was love at first stick.

Q. What is your favorite moment of Auntie J?

Uncle C: At camp, I hit J in the face with a tether ball. It was hysterical.
Auntie J: That hurt.

Q. What is your favorite Uncle Cami?

Auntie J: I am trying to think of a moment when I almost passed out because I couldn't
breathe. Remember the trip to Palm Springs? Uncle Cami made up a
story about them killing animals in the back of the restaurant.
Uncle C: haha

Q. What's your favorite thing to do together?

Auntie J: (pause)
Uncle C: drugs.
Auntie J: hahaha
Uncle C: laugh?
Auntie J: we are so boring.

Q. Any final words?

Auntie J: stay in school... don't do drugs. Wait I need something better. Cami?
Uncle C: uhhhhh
Auntie J: Cami, you should start carrying a knife, so you know I am safe.
Uncle C: I do, it's in my socks.... these striped socks.
Auntie J: Wear those Sadie's socks proud... Cami, tell me a story.

Mama Kel, Just Yell Fire.

2010-04-19T21:06:00.000-07:00

Mama Kel, Just Yell Fire.

Today... was a long day. It is the beginning of election week and the high school world has been scattered with election posters. They are everywhere. The are under the drinking fountain, hanging from the balcony and woven into the stair case.

This morning, I signed off on over two hundred posters with slogans painted across the top. And, yet still by the end of the day, ASB found students who decided to run for there own offices. Student Relations brought me a poster that said, "Vote Danny for Immigration Officer." Seriously? What school needs an immigration officer? Okay... maybe don't answer that.

---

We were stuck in a horrible meeting today.
It was dragging on and on and on and on.
Poking out my eyes was seriously becoming and option.

Student Relations leaned over to me and said, "Mama Kel, yell fire, people will start moving."

Do you think it would have worked?

---

So, this afternoon the Board conducted some make up interviews. And, I thought I would treat them to McDonalds. (Actually Papa M called to see where I was, while I was driving through the line... so they lucked out!)

I came back with lunch and we inhaled.
6th period started.
Papa M was not doing to well.... sick. Doubled over sick.

"Hurricane Katrina is in my intestines. 9.11 is happening in my kidneys," Papa M complained.

Our President, and resident Mistress, tried giving him Advil.
Three Advil.
Papa M put back two.
I gave him one more.
He read the directions (to the entire class).
I made him swallow the pills.
Our President mocked him for taking a child's dosage.

Papa M complained and complained.
"Hurricane Katrina is in my intestines. 9.11 is happening in my kidneys."

"Natural Disasters are not taking place in your tummy, right now, Papa M," shouted neighbor K.

And, so today was filled with natural disasters, it started out with fire and ended up with 9.11.

Naturual Disaters are not taking place in your tummy right now, papa m, said k.

Mama Kel, Did you hear? The bus broke down.

2010-04-18T14:51:00.000-07:00

Sadie Hawkins.

A day at Magic Mountain... hours (did you hear me? hours. 12 to be exact.) of long lines, heat and junk food.

The day started off rocky.

"Mama Kel, where are the T's?"
"The T's?", I ask.
"Yeah, the check-in list has no names that start with T."

Seriously... the day was off and running. After we found the T's and all the other respective letters of the alphabet and loaded six limo-busses... we head for Valencia, CA to Six Flags Magic Mountain. After waiting for an hour to enter the parking lot, we finally found ourself and 300 students in the park.

And, then the text messages began: "Mama Kel, I didn't get a meal ticket.", "Mama, Kel, do you have money for a funnel cake?", "Mama, Kel, can we ride home with you, instead of on the bus?"

But, Mama, Kel... loves being a Mama, so in the midst of flipping up and down an X2 and sitting next to other chaperones screaming on Terminator-- I found the time to feed, clothe and take care of my "family". Finally, the night was over. I felt like I could cut off my feet to make the pain go away. I stood in front of Coldstone, rejecting student after student who wanted to get an ice cream and made them retreat to the bus.

We finally, started making our cross country trek to our car, and we were somewhere in New Mexico when my phone rang... "Mama Kel, our bus won't start." You have got to be joking me. President-elect, Historian, ASB advisor and I made our way to the broken bus. After moving all the freshman and sophomores onto working busses... we only had juniors and seniors. Hungry Juniors and Seniors.

The ASB trio and Mama Kel to the rescue. Historian and I were dropped off at WalMart while the boys went to Wendy's to order 60 hamburgers. We had 15 minutes to run through WalMart and grab sodas, chips and DumDums for 60 people. Historian and I ran around and grabbed the goodies (plus a bottle of Advil and some magazines to pass the time) and made our purchases.

The boys had driven through Wendy's and had been told, "Ten minutes" for 60 burgers.
After swinging by to pick us up from the WalMart parking lot at midnight, we headed back to Wendys. 10 minutes. Gone. 15 minutes and 20 pages of a magazine. gone. 20 minutes and a game of "Butt's up" and "Who can toss the tennis ball the highest and still catch it." Gone.

"What is taking so long?" I whined... worse than any of my kids.
"Mama Kel, we are at a Wendy's in Valencia. This is the night-shift. They probably don't make 60 burgers in an entire evening... let alone 60 burgers in one order."

AHHH.

Like feeding homeless people out of the back of an SUV, we passed out hamburgers, chips, and waters-- until the working bus finally came to pick up everyone who was stranded in the parking lot.

The car ride home consisted of four delusional ASB members singing showtunes, making up lines to songs and talking about how much we love the drama of a broken down bus.

It was back to school and we were getting quieter and more tired with each mile. After everyone was finally picked up... I sighed a sigh of relief and started to drop off my clan one by one at their perspective houses.

As I dropped of my President-Elect, I realized one thing... no matter how many times he tells me "Mama Kel, this is awkward"... I'll take a million awkward moments as long as he is in charge... because he makes even the disaster of a broken down bus seem like an adventure. He might wish he never asked Mama Kel for a ride home, that way he would have been home hours early, but I am so glad my kids were there. And, it makes me CURIOUS to see what is in store for next year.

Mama Kel, Who am I related to?

2010-04-15T15:24:00.000-07:00

"Mama Kel, Who am I related to?"

Today= chaos.

ASB is interviewing for the 2010-2011 Board of Directors. And, as you can imagine-- stress level is high and anxiety is through the roof. (Did I mention that Saturday is our Sadie Hawkins event--- where we are taking 300 people to Magic Mountain, but only have 195 tickets?!)

So, back to the chaos.

ASB President is sitting in the back of the room putting on makeup asking Junior Class president to hold her mirror.

Community Relations is working on interview rosters, VP is glueing signs together, President elect and Student Relations are buying pizza and salads for dinner.

Laughter is everywhere... we are contagious. The principal makes his way in and silence. Death becomes my classroom. He leaves... and chaos erupts.

Interviews are long and insightful... and the laughter continues.
Through sleepless hours we sit in a corner and reflect on the year and the family we have created.
So, you have met Mama Kel, but now meet the family.

Papa M: advice giver and great/rocking hugger
Daughter M: our resident freshman who always needs advice
Uncle C and Aunt J: the life of the party and the best of friends
Cousin C: the constant in all of our lives.
Mistress H: the red-headed spitfire who loves us all and everyone loves in return
Crazy Neighbor K: who is learning to hug and we don't know how we would live life without her
Neighbor N: think "Home Improvements'" Wilson... resident answer man and all around good guy
Lady S: She say's it is the grandma title, but she is just that nice neighbor who always has cookies and coffee

There's more in our family, but we don't want to overwhelm you So, keep reading and keep meeting... we are all here and Mama Kel loves each of them.

It's a good thing to remember that family doesn't mean that you have to share blood lines. It might just mean that you love someone and would do anything in the world for them.

Meet Mama Kel

2010-04-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

Okay. So truth be told, I am not a "mom" at all.

I am a 29-year old teacher with 150 kids that come into my classroom everyday. Some of my students just sit in their seats for 50 minutes and then exit. Others live here.

They leave their books behind and stop by every period for a visit, they come by to grab a cup of coffee (yes, I have a coffee maker in my classroom) or they come by just to "chat" (as well as be late to their next period). Over the past year, my ASB (student government to those newbies) has renamed me "mama kel". And, so, even though I have not birthed a single one of these kids--- they are mine. I find them going through my purse digging for gum, asking for lunch money, learning how to forge my signature, showing up at my house asking, "What is for dinner?" and texting me to the wee hours of the morning about their latest drama.

So, I am a teacher to 150, and a "mama kel" to sixteen. But, this is my blog about my kids (all 166 of them) and my life as "mama kel".